Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
