I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
