Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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