Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
