she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
