so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
