I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
