I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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