we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ttyl tear gas
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize