kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
