Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
