she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
