my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
