Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I skipped work to stalk him.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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