see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
