On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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