So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
