I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
