there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
