no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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