Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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