There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
