Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
