Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
