his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize