so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
