They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
