So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
