I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize