i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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