So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
