I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize