i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
