Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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