I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
