when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Still dying that you shit outside
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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