census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
