Your mouth is God's brothel.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize