Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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