I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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