420 ftw
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
