love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize