she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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