dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
