i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
