maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize