you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize