My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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