Christians are straight up FREAKS
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
