I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
