I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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