At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
