Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
