I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
