apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize