How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
