Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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