Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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