yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
