I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
