You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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