Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
