he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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